10 Tricks to Handle Dad and mom’ Again-to-Faculty Stress

When I was a kid, the start of school always had me feeling all the feels. There was excitement about fresh starts, anxiety about the unknown, and sadness about leaving the carefree days of summer behind. While I never really gave much thought to what my mom and dad were feeling at the time, it’s a solid bet they were going through their own roller coaster of emotions. It’s true: back-to-school stress happens to parents, too.

Behind kids who are nervous to return to the classroom are often equally worried parents. “Transitions often trigger anxiety, and back-to-school is no different,” says Catherine Nobile, PsyD, a New York-based psychologist. “The uncertainty and unfamiliarity of the next chapter often leads to stress for both children and their parents,” Nobile says. This stress can be so intense, in fact, that 60 percent of parents admit it’s driven them to tears, according to a recent survey of 1,000 parents in the U.S. by Life360.

But it doesn’t have to be this way. There are ways to calm down those back-to-school jitters for the whole family, leading to a smoother transition this school year. Read on to learn Nobile’s top tips.

Back-to-school anxiety isn’t just for kids

If you think about it, back-to-school season is the perfect storm of stressors for caregivers. According to Nobile, back-to-school challenges for most parents usually boils down to three main things: time, money, and concern for their kids’ well-being.

Time-related stress

“Time is the most significant pressure point,” for most parents, Nobile says. Between early morning school drop-offs, homework, after-school activities, and home and work responsibilities, it can feel like there’s never enough hours in the day to do it all. As you try to juggle all your commitments, you might “feel a sense of spinning out of control,” she says. Case in point: More than half the parents in the Life360 survey said they struggle to fit in all the day’s activities while balancing personal and professional obligations.

To stay on top of things, many parents create detailed family schedules. But ironically, this scheduling can even be a time-sucking activity, especially when you’re coordinating multiple people’s calendars. In fact, most parents spend a whopping 17 hours per week (equivalent to two full workdays) managing their family schedules, per the Life360 survey.

This time suck alone can be enough to overwhelm any family system.

Financial stress

Back-to-school season can also be expensive. You’ve got to account for backpacks, textbooks, calculators, laptops…those school supply lists are also often long. On top of that, you may need to buy new outfits for the school year, including clothes that meet specific uniform or dress code requirements. And let’s not forget all the extra fees for sports, after-school activities, and field trips. “The costs really add up,” Nobile says.

No kidding: On average, most parents typically spend $458 per child (plus an additional $175 replacing things their kids lose throughout the school year), according to the Life360 survey. Unsurprisingly, money was the top cause of back-to-school stress for more than half of surveyed parents. This financial burden can be especially challenging for families with multiple children or those on tight budgets, Nobile says.

Emotional stress

As a parent, you worry about your child’s well-being all day, every day. It just comes with the territory. But back-to-school season can kick up a whole new crop of concerns for parents, specifically around safety (it’s the number three reason for back-to-school stress, per the Life360 survey).

While school should be a safe place for every kid, sadly, that’s not always the case. Bullying is a reality for many children—about 40 percent of youth reported they were bullied at school in 2023, according to the Youth Right Now survey by the Boys & Girls Clubs of America. The rise in school shootings is another real threat. The odds of a child going through a school shooting has quadrupled since 1970 (while the rate of death from school shootings has increased more than sixfold), per an April 2024 study in the Journal of the American College of Surgeons¹. With these statistics, it’s no wonder parents are worried about sending their kids back to school.

On top of threats to safety, parents are also anxious about how their kids will handle other day-to-day social and academic pressures of school, Nobile says. They worry: “Will my child make friends in the lunchroom?” Will they be able to keep up with the workload? Will they develop bad habits and lose their intellectual curiosity?”

“For parents, these worries can be overwhelming,” she adds.

How to handle back-to-school stress

“While the chaos of back-to-school can cause overwhelm, focusing on structure can help you control that chaos,” Nobile says. Here are some of her practical tips to make back-to-school season a little more manageable for parents—no matter what age your children are.

1. Shift bedtimes 

Part of the appeal of summer for kids is looser bedtime rules. Who doesn’t love staying up late to watch TV and sleeping in the next day? As school starts up again, though, the need for more structured sleep returns.

“If you’re adjusting sleep schedules to begin the school year,” Nobile recommends doing it slowly. “Start shifting routines a week or two before” the first day of school, she says. For example, if your kids go to bed at 9 p.m. in the summer, but have an 8 p.m. bedtime on school nights, do “lights out” by 8:45 p.m. for a few days. Keep shaving off another 15 minutes every few days until they’re in bed by 8.

By gently easing into this new routine, you will help your kids get acclimated and avoid “sleep-deprived meltdowns” once school starts, Nobile says.

2. Budget school expenses early 

Ever get slapped with a huge bill you weren’t expecting (and can’t afford to pay)? It’s not a good feeling. The best way to avoid sticker shock when it comes to back-to-school expenses is to plan ahead.

“Review your budget before the school year starts, and set limits for yourself and your children,” Nobile says. Maybe this means your kids can join two sports (not three) or they can get one new pair of shoes (not two).

If certain “big-ticket purchases” are unavoidable—say, your kid needs a new laptop—consider “spacing out” your shopping, Nobile says. For example, buy the laptop at the start of summer and shop for school clothes at the end of summer. This way you don’t get hit “with a major financial blow all at once,” she says.

3. Automate restocking of school supplies

With busy schedules and long to-do lists, it can be easy for stuff to fall through the cracks—especially when it comes to school supply shopping. For things you know your child will definitely need, try signing up for recurring subscriptions, which are not only convenient, but they can help you save money.

“Use online subscriptions to have recurring items (like notebooks, pencils, and snacks) delivered, or buy in bulk at the beginning of the year,” says Nobile. Sites like Amazon have “subscribe and save” options, which allow you to control how often you get a certain item. And the best part? You usually get a discounted price when you sign up.

This way, you don’t have to worry about forgetting to buy something or running out once school is in full swing (and your schedule is even more packed). You can even factor in the cost when you work on your budget, so there’s no surprise later on.

4. Design a family calendar

It’s nearly impossible to avoid the stress of scheduling your life, but you can simplify the process with a few strategies. To start, keep a large family calendar to track school events, after-school activities, homework, and other monthly tasks, Nobile says. Hang it in a central place in your home where everyone will see it, like the kitchen.

Another calendar pro-tip: Assign a specific color for each family member. By color coding, “you and your children can see when there are overlapping activities and avoid conflicting schedules,” she says. “This also allows everyone to see what’s coming up and eases the stress of being overwhelmed by logistics.”

5. Designate a ‘prep station’ for mornings

Morning schooldays can be chaotic, especially if you’re running late. But planning ahead can set you up for success. “Set out backpacks, school supplies, lunchboxes, and clothes for the next day in a specific spot so that the morning rush isn’t spent looking for them,” Nobile says. “This allows kids [and parents] to start off the day with less ‘decision-making stress‘ in the early hours,” she says.

6. Meal prep school lunches on the weekend

Making lunch can be another tedious task, but meal prepping can help. Planning out lunches ahead of the school week can go a long way (see a common theme here?).

Nobile says batch-prepping lunches on Sunday removes any indecision around what to make for the kids during the week. And this prep doesn’t have to take up the entire day. Spend a few minutes cutting up vegetables or pre-packing snacks into individual servings, she says. Or buy pre-washed, pre-cut veggies and fruits, or a pre-roasted chicken, to save time on building lunches later on.

Finding pre-packaged snacks that come in single portions—like nuts, trail mix, or protein bars—can also be a big help.

7. Centralize school paperwork

Do your kids often bring home a steady stream of school paperwork each day? Things like newsletters, permission slips, class schedules, reading lists, report cards, and more can not only create clutter, but also get lost in the shuffle of everyday life. (I mean, the last thing you want to do is scramble to find a field trip form the day of the trip.)

To keep the paper chaos at bay, Nobile suggests creating a centralized system. “Perhaps a wall-mounted file holder for each kid or a digital system for scanning and saving papers would work for you,” she says. By keeping all papers in one designated place, “this method helps to reduce clutter and avoid missed deadlines.”

8. Delegate tasks

Sometimes being a parent feels like being a professional project manager—you spend a large part of your time organizing, planning, and executing projects while working on a tight budget and deadlines. But a successful manager knows how to delegate tasks to get things done.

Nobile recommends assigning daily tasks or chores to your kids. For example, “choosing what to wear, making their beds, even brushing teeth and washing their faces are all tasks you can delegate to age-appropriate children,” she says.

Not only does delegating lighten your load a little, but it also teaches kids responsibility, self-competence, and independence— skills they’ll need to be successful in school (and life in general). Win-win!

9. Plan ‘quiet time’ after school

You know how you need a few minutes at the end of your workday to unwind? Yeah, your kids may need that too after spending all day (mostly) sitting and concentrating at school.

“Designate a 20- to 30-minute period after school when the kids come home where everyone does a relaxing activity [think: drawing, puzzles, etc.],” Nobile says. “This can help the kids decompress from the school day and provide a break for everyone.”

If it feels like the right time, you can even set aside a few minutes to talk about the day’s highs and lows. This will give your kids the opportunity to share their experience at school and can help clue you in if they’re dealing with something like bullying.

10. Create a carpool network

As the saying goes, “it takes a village.” When you have a reliable group of people to share some of life’s daily responsibilities, it can be a huge help and timesaver. Carpooling is one great example of that.

“Create a network of parents who can take turns driving kids to and from school and activities,” Nobile says. “Not only will you reduce your stress regarding driving, but you’ll also be creating a network of parents dealing with the same stress,” she says. In other words, everyone benefits and feels more supported.

In general, getting to know other parents in your child’s class(es) can help you stay in the know and feel less alone when it comes to back-to-school anxiety.

When to see a mental health professional

While there are many things we can do to feel a little more prepared for back-to-school season, the stress of the transition never completely goes away. (This is totally natural!) If, however, you’re having an especially hard time, don’t be afraid to ask for professional help.

“A professional can help you develop strategies to cope with stress, manage your emotional responses, and balance the demands of the back-to-school season,” Nobile says. Here are some signs that might signal it’s time to see a therapist or counselor about your back-to-school stress, she adds:

• Persistent anxiety or worry about schedules, performance, or family dynamics
• Trouble getting or staying asleep or waking up feeling unrested, especially if connected to stress over the new school year
• Ongoing irritability or moodiness, frequent ups and downs, or feelings of frustration that feel disproportionate to what is going on around you
• Persistent physical symptoms like headaches, muscle tension, stomachaches, or fatigue (stress can manifest physically)
• Feeling overwhelmed or burned out
• Withdrawal from social events, pulling away from friends or family, or losing interest in hobbies or other activities they used to enjoy
• Difficulty concentrating or making decisions
• Always feeling guilty (which could include saying/thinking things like “I should be doing more” or “I’m not good enough”) or a sense of inadequacy (i.e,. saying or thinking “I’m not doing enough or giving my children what they need”)
• Depression or hopelessness
• Higher levels of tension with a partner or children or increased arguments at home