Dating can be incredible, but it can also totally suck in more ways than one. Everyone has their own unique experience, but most of us have had both challenges and fun times in our dating histories.
If you’re single in your 30s, you probably already know that dating can be a lot different than when you were younger. There are some major pros and a few cons to dating in your 30s, but every age has their dating challenges.
We’ll get into all that in a minute. Keep reading for some practical dating tips for women in their 30s.
How To Date In Your 30s As a Woman
When you’re single in your 30s, you likely have a better idea of what your ideal partner looks like due to your previous experience. This experience can help you navigate the dating world and be clear about what you want, which takes you one step closer to actually getting what you want.
On the other hand, your dating pool might feel smaller as many people are in committed relationships already. That can be really scary, but don’t sweat it too much there are still plenty of fish in the sea.
10 Tips for Dating In Your 30s As a Woman
Start by deciding what you want.
One of the best things about being in your 30s is that you feel more comfortable and confident in yourself. You know what you like, you sure as hell know what you deserve, and you know what’s nonnegotiable. And if you don’t, it’s time to figure it out.
Beyond that, are you looking for a hot one night stand or a husband? You’ve gotta know before you get in the game.
Why? Because you don’t deserve to be wasting your time. If you’re looking to live your best life, you can’t be caught up with partners who aren’t helping you get there.
So, you’ve got to decide what you want in order to get what you want.
Be clear about what you want.
Now that you know what you want, you’ve got to communicate it. Be clear about what you’re looking for and what you expect from a potential partner. You’ll want to be on the same page with your potential partner about what you’re looking for, both romantically and sexually.
Let your date’s past be their past.
You might get intimidated by your date’s history (or present situation) if they were married previously or had kids with someone. Totally understandable. There’s a lot of history there, and it’s hard to find your place when you’ve never been in that situation before.
But, if you let that intimidation keep you from dating people with complicated lives, you could miss out on an amazing connection. Keep an open mind, and your dating pool gets a lot bigger (and better).
Plus, divorcees usually learn a lot from their first marriage, and can grow a lot as a result. We’re all constantly growing and changing, so don’t rule someone out for learning more about what they do want.
Now, if they’re still clearly hooked on their ex? ABORT MISSION, LADIES.
Be brave be vulnerable.
By your 30’s, you might feel like you’re getting close to giving up on love. You’ve been hurt a few times, maybe, and you’ve already got your life together with your TSC planner and your kickass skincare routine who needs a man, really?
But, if you’re longing to find the one (or if your solo sex toys are just not cutting it), you’re going to have to let those walls down and be a little vulnerable about what you want.
It’s scary. Totally. But you can totally do it.
Don’t sleep on a game of hard-to-get.
Maybe it seems a little juvenile, but… it works! And it’s a little fun, too.
The thing is, no one is attracted to desperation. Not only that, but desperation usually leads to settling or neglecting your values.
You want to be pursued, respected, and cherished, so give your potential partner a chance to do that. If you jump headfirst into the relationship, you run the risk of reducing their attraction to you.
If you’re just looking for sex? Get it, girl! But, if you’re looking for something long-term, let yourself relish in the early days of dating: the excitement, the butterflies, the chase.
Throw out your timeline.
We love our Hot Minute Planner as much as the next ultra organized hustler, but unfortunately, you can’t plan out the milestones of your relationship.
You can’t predict what’s going to happen. Trying to plan it out will only stress you out. Plus, no one wants to date a stressed out, micromanaging girlfriend who’s constantly pushing the next step in the relationship. They just don’t.
HOT TIP: It’s important to have single friends to keep you sane amongst all the couples. Friends in relationships are important, too, but your single friends will help you feel less like you’re on a timeline. Because you’re absolutely not.
If there’s no spark, there’s no spark.
There’s no use trying to date someone you’re just not into. Maybe in your twenties, you’d have given them a second date just to be sure but not in your thirties. You know what you want already. Don’t be afraid to go after it.
Watch out for the spiral.
When you’ve been dating a while, it’s easy to get caught up in negative thought patterns. You might want to jump ship at every flag you see, whether it’s a red flag or not.
It’s important to be aware of these negative thought patterns. This way, you can do your best to stop them in their tracks. You do NOT deserve to be ruled by anxiety. And, trust us, it won’t get you too far anyway.
If you can’t figure out what’s spiraling and what are legitimate concerns, grab a friend. Preferably one who gives good advice. Dating life can feel lonely, but it doesn’t have to.
Ask your friends to set you up.
You know who knows people who will totally mesh with you? The people you already mesh with. When your friends set you up, you already know your date will vibe with your friend group. That’s one box checked.
Plus, you’ve got options when it comes to the type of first date you want. Like, want to keep it casual and do a group date? You both already have mutual friends you’re comfortable with, so go for it. Group first dates can feel less intimidating if you’ve been out of the game for a while, but they’re tricky to set up without mutual friends.
But, if you’d rather do something one-on-one, that’s cool, too. You get to do whatever you want. That’s what we really want to drive home: you’re in your thirties. Go after what you want.
Go out and socialize.
The best way to find a partner is to meet new people. To do that, you have to leave your house. We know, we know at times, that sucks. But you also know we’d never leave you out to dry. Boost your confidence with this social skills tune-up. It’ll help you leave your cocoon and turn you into a social butterfly.
Whether you find someone new to go out with through online dating, Facebook groups, dating apps, or joining a local club you’ve got to put yourself out there to find love.
The main message: know what you want, and don’t settle for less.
We hope these tips help boost your confidence and make dating in your 30s a little easier. Trust us, we know it can be tough, but at least it’s not like dating in your 20s, are we right? Oof.
Wanna hear dating advice from a man’s POV? You know who will give it to you straight. Check out these dating tips by Michael to get the juice.
Need a great ‘fit for your date? Here are some casual date night outfits, ready to go.
x, The Skinny Confidential team
+ If you plan on getting frisky, check out these blow job tips.
++ Read this tips on how to put the spice back in your marriage.
DATING FUN:
