These ideas span the gamut, ranging from sensually sudsing your body in the shower to looking at your genitals with a self-check mirror, gratitude journaling to penning yes-no-maybe lists, starting a sex book book-club to communicating, communicating, and communicating some more with your sexual partner(s). What this list never includes, however, is a specific exercise or movement regime.
Why? Because as a sexologist I believe that being prescriptive about any pleasure practice—including what sex should look like, how often you should have it, and how you improve your relationship to sexuality overall—can do far more harm in our perfectionist-forward society than good.
To start, there’s a not-so-negligible risk of intensifying shame surrounding what an individual can and cannot do physically. Prescriptive exercise for sex has the additional risk of further disconnecting an individual from their body and needs, as it encourages them to ignore their body’s needs in favor of fitting fitness in.
With that, I’m beyond wary of any book, listicle, or expert promising to boost bedroom performance one yoga flow, workout, or sweat session at a time. So, when I discovered that my go-to yoga-on-the-go app, Alo Moves, launched a 14-day sexual wellness series called Embodiment, which combines yoga flows, meditations, and sex education to help pleasure-seekers connect with their sexual selves, I admit I was skeptical.
But one day when the combined chaos of planning a cross-country move and looming deadlines left me with just 15 minutes to exercise, I decided to give the first yoga workout, which happens to be about that long, a try. Impressed by the emphasis the instructor, Adrienne Everett, put on mind-body connection, breath, and body attunement, I decided to work my way through the entire series.
Now on the other side, I’m happy to share that the series delivered on its promise. I genuinely feel more connected to my sexuality; my stress levels are lower and in turn, my libido is higher; my interest in talking ~all things sex~ with my partner has been reignited; and I’m once-again feeling grounded in myself as a sexual, sensual being.
However, it isn’t just the fact that the series worked for me personally that has led me to add it to my sexpert magician hat—rather, it’s the way the series does so in a body-positive, shame-free, and trauma-informed way. Ahead, get an in-depth look at the Aloe Moves Embodiment series, including my experience with the two-week challenge, plus tips on giving it a try yourself.
The Alo Embodiment Series uses yoga to improve your sex life in a new and improved way
Most content about yoga for sex narrows in on how the ancient practice can boost mobility, potentially making advanced sex positions like the missionary split, scissoring, and seated 69 possible.
While it may be true that improved flexibility can be a sexual win for pleasure-seekers who specifically get off on regularly trying new sex positions, it’s essential to remember that there are no mobility, flexibility, or strength prerequisites for pleasurable, connected sex. People of any ability, size, health status, and fitness level can all access—and BTW, all deserve—pleasure in a solo, partnered, or multi-partnered setting.
As licensed psychotherapist and relationship expert Rachel Wright, LMFT, host of The Wright Conversations podcast puts it: “You don’t need to be a Cirque du Soleil performer, an Olympic gymnast, or have a certain body type to have pleasurable sex.”
In fact, because good sex is predicated on factors such as honest communication, broadening your definitions of sex (beyond penetration), and engaging all of the senses, having a particular body is by no means a guarantee that good sex is on your horizon, she says.
Importantly, the Alo Moves Embodiment video series isn’t centered around improving participants’ athleticism. Rather, the series uses 14 guided meditations and 10 beginner-friendly yoga flows to help participants connect with their bodies and minds in their current state—whatever that state may be, explains, Everett, the certified yoga instructor featured in the Alo Moves Embodiment series.
“You don’t need to be a Cirque du Soleil performer, an Olympic gymnast, or have a certain body type to have pleasurable sex.” —Rachel Wright, LMFT
The idea is that each day an individual will start by listening to short, five-minute meditation and then take a 15-minute yoga flow (assuming it is not a rest day), she says.
Not to mention, the series also offers sexual and anatomical education to viewers. Scattered throughout are four 15-minute videos featuring licensed psychologist and certified sex therapist Kate Balestrieri, PsyD, CST, on the meaning of sexiness, communicating sexual wants and needs, how to reclaim your sexual power, and releasing shame in the name of great sex.
The fusion of these three pieces (meditations, mindful movement, and sex education) inside the series is “designed to be deeply transformative for the body, mind and spirit,” Everett says. “It’s designed to help you tap into a sense of empowerment and embodiment, as well as become more attuned to your body, which are all essential when it comes to exploring sensuality and sexuality.”
My experience with the Alo Moves Embodiment series
The Embodiment series unexpectedly came to my rescue at the tail-end of a two-month span during which I put the pieces in place to move across state lines to be closer to my long-distance partner, started graduate school (for sex therapy, woot!), and wrote more articles in that amount of time than I ever had previously.
The go-go-go pace of this era turned me into the most stressed, least horny version of myself I can remember being in over a decade. As a result, I felt like the ultimate hypocrite: I may have been teaching other people to have good sex, but I myself was letting my vibrators collect dust, rejecting my partner’s invites to sext, and neglecting my sleep and overall health needs in addition to my sexual ones. As soon as I committed to the Embodiment series, however, all that started to change.
Mainly, this is because the meditations and yoga flows forced me to get out of my brain and connect with my body on a deep level for the first time in weeks. Turns out, yoga regularly has this effect, according to Balestrieri. The power in yoga is its ability to help people reconnect with themselves and their body without external expectations and obligations, she says. “It can allow people to explore their body and pleasure without the pressure to perform or complete tasks.” Certainly, my first flow was the first time I put my to-do list to the back of my mind since the summer.
The thing is, as the series continued, the videos did more than give me a brief reprieve from productivity and packing—they also helped me put my never-ending list in perspective. As cheesy as it sounds, the meditations reminded me how much of a great and glorious world there is outside of my computer. Plus, the yoga flows helped ease my stress levels in the way yoga is known to do.
Further, the snack-sized sex talks throughout—which touch on a variety of topics including the benefits of and tips for better partner sex—reminded me how vital masturbation can be to my stress-relief routine. Plus, how much stress squashes my own interest in partnered play. Together, these things ultimately encouraged me to revive my masturbation routine, as well as gave me new language to assure my S.O. that my recent rebuffs weren’t about him… at all!
At the series’ end, I may still be busy, but my experience within that business is a more joyous one. I’m more connected to my sensuous-body, I feel more emotionally and sexually connected to my partner, and ultimately feel motivated to continue caring for my mind, body and spirit in this season of my life.
The power in yoga is its ability to help people reconnect with themselves and their body without external expectations and obligations.
Exactly how to try the Embodiment series for yourself
Whether you’re also caught in the hamster wheel of obligations, in a sexual rut, or simply a life-long yogi interested in the intersection of yoga and sex, the Alo Move Embodiment series is for you.
Here’s how to get started.
1. Download the app
To try the Embodiment series, you’ll need to start by downloading the Alo Moves app. If you have an android phone, you’ll have to access the content from your desktop or laptop computer.
While the app itself is free, you’ll have to purchase a monthly subscription for $12.99/month or annual subscription $129.99/year inside the app. This price-point is decent for yogis who will regularly use the flows outside of the 14-day series. But everyone else will be pleased to learn that there is a 14-day free trial, which essentially enables you to access just the Embodiment series—so long as you remember to cancel the subscription before you get charged.
2. Create a sensual space to flow
Balestrieri recommends setting up a special where you plan to flow (or meditate or learn) each day. “Your environment can help you connect with your sensual side during the workouts, making it less about how you look and more about how you feel,” she explains.
To be clear: This doesn’t mean that you need to invest in the latest and greatest yoga mat, sweat towel, or yoga block. Heck, yoga makes a somewhat-regular appearance in my movement routine, and I don’t own any of those things—I simply lie down on a clean towel.
What it does mean, however, is creating a vibe. “You could dim the lights, light a candle, or play music that makes you feel strong and sexy while you set up your space,” she says. You could even put on your sexiest sports bra, favorite leggings, or don a hair mask before getting on your mat (or towel).
If possible, Balestrieri also suggests setting your yoga spot up away from mirrors—unless watching yourself shape-shift and shake feels empowering. This will allow you to focus more on how your body feels than encouraging you to zero in on what you wish your body looked like, she says.
3. Make a mantra
The series is designed to encourage you to shift your focus from how your body performs (during either your yoga flows or extracurricular freaky time). In the event that you find yourself struggling to pay attention to how your body feels and/or how your breath is flowing, Balestrieri suggests talking kindly to yourself. “A helpful mantra to say to yourself when you start judging might be, ‘My body is here to support me, not to be judged’,” she says. Personally, I use “My body and I are one.”
4. Prioritize play over perfection
Throughout the 10 different yoga flows, “try not to take yourself so seriously, and instead try to add play in your workout—whether that’s dancing between sets or just swaying to the music while you move,” Balestrieri says. “This kind of playfulness can help you feel more connected to your body and less worried about how it looks from the outside.”
By the way, not taking yourself too seriously also means cutting yourself slack if you miss one (or more) of the 14 days or accidentally skip a video. Remember: Play, pleasure, and pleasure education are the goals of this series, not perfection.
5. Add in other things that connect you to your sexual self
There’s no doubt the Alo Moves embodiment series is a great way to start reconnecting to yourself and making pleasure a priority—my experience attests to just that. However, low self-confidence and sexual shame are hungry wolves that have been feasting on social messaging that tells you aren’t enough basically since you were born, Wright says.
With that, if you’re really committed to starving those inner bitchy beasts—and you should be, if your mental well-being matters to you—it will likely take more than just two weeks.
So, whether it’s at the end of the experiment or mid-way through, Wright suggests implementing additional self-care practices that offer similar empowering, shame-releasing, and embodied benefits.
“Working with a sex therapist or other sex-positive mental health professional can be a great way to identify your personal barriers to pleasure, and then work through them,” she says. Exploring self-touch and masturbation, reading about sex, learning about sex through Instagram-active certified sex therapists or taking sex workshops, meditating, and journaling can all help, too, she says.
