“There is no one definitive cause of ‘daddy issues’ since every individual’s experiences and relationships with their father or father figure are unique,” Koshy tells mbg. However, most experts agree that the idea of daddy issues can be traced to Sigmund Freud’s “Oedipus complex,” which he proposed as part of early psychoanalytic theory.
“This complex suggests that a person may have certain unconscious impulses, both positive and negative, due to a poor relationship with their father,” Koshy tells mbg. “In women with this complex, they may develop unhealthy relationships or patterns with men who care for them in an attempt to fix their broken relationship with their father.”
For example, if your father was overly controlling or critical, you may have low self-esteem in future relationships and seek constant affirmation. Or if your parent was physically or emotionally absent, you may seek to heal those feelings of abandonment or neglect in future relationships. “When fathers do not express their emotions or communicate with their children, it can lead to difficulties in forming close emotional connections with others [later on],” Koshy adds.
That said, sometimes, “daddy” issues are more related to general attachment styles than your literal relationship with your father figure. “In general, insecure attachment—whether avoidant (i.e., dismissive), ambivalent (i.e., anxious or preoccupied), or disorganized (i.e., unresolved)—can lead to a wide array of mental, emotional, and behavioral patterns, including daddy issues,” Manly tells mbg.
