Finding yourself can mean different things for different people. But according to clinical psychologist Carla Marie Manly, Ph.D., in the most general sense, the process of finding yourself can be described as getting to know and accept one’s genuine, innermost self.
“When you find yourself, there’s often a sense of ‘coming home’ to a place of self that feels authentic and familiar. This sense of homecoming is common for those who never knew themselves and those who lost themselves along the way,” she tells mbg, adding, “As a Jungian-based psychologist, the process of individuation—which entails coming to terms with the conscious and unconscious parts of the psyche—describes the ultimate goal of finding yourself.”
For some, this might involve learning core values and living a life that is in alignment with those values. It may also look like making better choices, which can positively impact self-esteem and help reclaim internal narratives.
“We live in a society where we are constantly being told who we are and how we should act,” adds licensed therapist Alyssa “Lia” Mancao, LCSW. “Finding yourself can also mean filtering through this noise and [finding] an inner dialogue that is kind, compassionate, and in resonance with how you would like to be, and not what you think others want you to be.”
It’s important to note that finding yourself isn’t a one-and-done situation. As you change and grow, you’ll likely always be discovering new things about yourself and becoming more aware of not just who you are but who you want to be.
