Hey Buckles,
Now that we’re waist-deep in ski season, I’m beginning to reassess our long-term relationship.
When we first met, all those winters ago, it felt so good to have you hold me. Every time I clipped in and snapped you down, it was a new adventure. I felt locked in, ready to go. I still can’t believe some of the stuff we skied together.
But it wasn’t always rainbows and butterflies. Lately, that stoke’s been replaced by discomfort. And if I’m being honest, I’m beginning to feel trapped.
You’re either holding on to me too tightly and I feel constricted — even suffocated — or you’re aloof and giving me too much space.
I want to feel supported, not constricted. That’s why I’m writing: to let you know that … I’ve met someone else.
A New Love Affair With BOA Ski Boots
It all started when I forgot to bring you on that ski trip in December. I had to demo a new pair of boots — and that’s when I met BOA.
It made me feel guilty at first, skiing with another boot. But now I can’t forget that feeling of pain-free, all-day support. Bell to bell, lap after lap.
When I’m with BOA, I don’t feel pressured. Clipping on your rigid, gated mandibles feels like a big boot step back.
The BOA Fit System is flexible to my needs and holds me tightly, without the pain points our relationship was always plagued by. Its nuanced fit respects my foot instead of cramping it into submission.
BOA ski boots fit my boot to my foot, instead of the other way round. All the soreness, the endless pressure points, the heart and foot aches that ended powder days early — none of it was necessary.
Remember all those days last season when you squeezed too tight and I had to stop skiing?
I watched, in pain, from the day lodge while other skiers (with comfier boots) harvested all of the tracks that we should’ve had. That’s not love, Buckles!
Another thing: you’ve become inconsistent. In the midst of powder panic, with the mega pass hordes nipping at our heels, we don’t have time to waste buckling, unbuckling, rebuckling, and so on. BOA is just faster and doesn’t make me wait around.
It might make you jealous to hear this, but with BOA ski boots, things just click into place.
Instead of watching rippers take our tracks, BOA and I are the ones gliding past other skiers bumbling with their janky buckle setups. Don’t you want that for me?
And let’s be honest, BOA’s just more dependable. Remember when you just blew out at the top of the tram last season? We had to ride all the way down to the base and get you fixed. Your unpredictability wasted hours of our ski day. Deep down, I’ll never forgive you.
I know it seems like I’m being selfish (and maybe I am a little bit).
But that’s okay, I deserve to live my best ski life — and that means shredding with BOA from now on.
With BOA, Sharing Is Caring
An alternative: This might sound kinda kinky, but what about a three-way relationship? You and BOA have a lot in common, and I think that together, we could have something special.
C’mon, Buckles! Doesn’t skiing with BOA sound fun? My love for skiing is big enough for both of you!
It might seem complicated, but I bet you two would really complement each other. Maybe, when you’re ready, we could have an ethically nonmonogamous gear (ENMG) relationship?
Other ski boots — like the ones from Atomic, Fischer, K2, and Salomon — incorporate buckles, just like you. Because BOA’s not selfish, and understands that you do bring something to the table.
The real question: Are you willing to share me with BOA? Or is it time to send you to the thrift store?
With love, your dude,
Sam
This article is sponsored by BOA. It is a work of satire — no ski boots were thrown out during its production.
