(The potty training reward tokens pictured above are an Amazon find!)
When I shared we were diving into potty training on Instagram, I received a bunch of messages asking me to share my experience. Three kids later and I think I finally have a good enough grasp on potty training to share a blog post about our approach based on what worked (and is currently working) for our boys.
Before we set out to potty train Chase (our oldest son), I read the book Oh Crap! Potty Training. It’s an incredibly helpful resource and one I recommend but I also encourage anyone who reads it to take it with a grain of salt. It’s saturated with information and can increase stress for some, too. I took the “take what works for us, leave what doesn’t” approach when reading that book. The result was a potty training method that isn’t fancy, catchy or Pinterest-graphic friendly but it works for us and helps us keep our sanity and not stress over something we know our kids can handle.
As for the boys’ ages, we’ve potty trained all three of them around the same age. Our boys all have summer birthdays and we’ve potty trained all of them at two-and-a-half years old when they’ve been a couple months shy of three. This has proven to be a sweet spot with our boys because they can communicate, understand us and seem to get what’s happening. (I am pretty sure the Oh Crap Potty Training book had me sweating and stressing thinking I missed the “ideal” potty training window with Chase but we were totally fine.) Potty training a few months before Chase and Ryder began attending the 3s class at their preschool gave them a couple of months to work on potty training, handle hurdles, practice going potty outside of our home, etc. and we’re doing a similar timeline for Rhett for the same reason.
And now let’s move right along to how we approach potty training!
Hopefully you all know this by now but please know I am not even close to a potty training expert. I’m just a mom of three who has been around the potty training block a time or two and found a method that works for her kids and keeps stress minimal. If you’re planning to potty train your little one soon, I encourage you to use what might work for you from this post and ignore anything that isn’t a great fit for you or your child.
How We Handle Potty Training
This is HUGE! We talk a lot about potty training for a week or so before we begin. This looks like reading potty-specific books (the boys have all loved this one and this one thanks to the interactive noisy buttons), taking them along to pick out some fun character underwear, involving them in selecting their rewards for potty training and watching the Daniel Tiger potty training episode. The Daniel Tiger potty episode includes a little potty song (“If you have to go potty, stop and go right away. Flush and wash and be on your way!”) and we sing this song non-stop during potty training. It’s a great resource and I think it resonates well with kids because it’s memorable and makes it feel a little less tense and stressful. This Daniel Tiger potty training book is a great way to reinforce the episode.
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Commit To Being Home for 2-3 Days
We clear our calendar and commit to holing up at home for two or three days when it’s potty training time. Playtime outside in the yard is totally fine (a huge perk of summertime potty training!) but other than that, we stay home and try to position ourselves in the same room as the kid who is potty training as much as possible. This makes it easier to notice signs that they may need to use the potty and we’re better able to quickly move them to the potty if an accident begins. During these few days, we’re all about regularly encouraging trips to the potty all day long. Loading up on liquids so more regular trips to the potty happen is another tip I read that we also implement.
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Naked from the Waist Down
This one was met with a little resistance from Chase and Rhett (Ryder was our little nudist and was all about it) but keeping the boys naked from the waist down has been pivotal for us for the first few days. It makes it easier to see an accident the moment it begins and the kids REALLY notice the wetness because it’s all over their legs and feet. None of our boys have liked this feeling and I think after the first couple of accidents they begin to put two and two together and realize that in order for their bodies to stay dry, they have to make it to the potty.
I know there are mixed viewpoints about reward-based potty training but we are ALL about it. It works and seriously motivates our boys. We have always done a little sticker chart which works well for the first or two day but eventually all of our boys have lost interest in the sticker reward chart. What didn’t they lose interest in? Candy. Haha! Choosing one of their favorite candies (or, in Rhett’s case, marshmallows) as a reward for any successful potty trips worked like a charm for our boys and definitely increased their motivation to sit on the potty and try to go. A little treat after a successful trip to the potty is not something I sweat because I know they won’t be waiting for a marshmallow or M&M from Mom after every potty trip for all the days. I’m totally fine with a little something special to help reinforce our praise when they make it to the potty, especially since this is the part of potty training out kids have liked best!
One other novelty worth mentioning that’s not exactly a reward but definitely increased potty training enthusiasm with our boys are these color-changing potty stickers. You place one at the bottom of a little potty and they change color when heat (in this case pee!) activates them. They rinse clean so they’re resuable and add a little extra fun to the monotony of potty training.
I know this isn’t realistic for the long-term but during the first couple of days at home, we take a little potty with us and move it all around the house so the potty is easily accessible at all times. Eventually it gets stored in the bathroom but in the beginning of potty training, keeping the potty close by works well for us. For those potty training little boys, I highly recommend a potty that has a little hump that goes between their legs (like this one) to minimize splashing and messes. I also ordered this potty seat that folds away that you place on top of a big toilet but we have not transitioned to that one for Rhett to use just yet.
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Don’t Sweat Naps and Nighttime
This was advice I received from our pediatrician during our first go-around with potty training Chase that I took to heart. Don’t sweat naps or nighttime potty training right away. Little kids have little bladders and if they’re still waking up after nighttime with a full, wet diaper, thinking they can hold it through the night might be a little too much to handle right away. We’ve always allowed for diapers during naps and nighttime and while I initially worried this might be confusing, Chase and Ryder never seemed to question it or get confused and so we’re taking the same tactic with Rhett.
Once our 2-3 days at home for the initial potty training blitz are up, it’s underwear time! We try to really, really encourage use of the potty before leaving the house whenever we have to go somewhere and also go to the potty right when we arrive somewhere to minimize accidents as much as possible. That being said, you better believe we have a spare pair of underwear and shorts/pants in the car at all times in case of an accident for quite a while just to be safe.
I know pull-ups work for many but I’ve never done them for our boys because the boys’ 2s preschool teacher told us she’s seen many kids get confused by them because they don’t feel the wetness after an accident as much as real underwear. (She has 20+ years of experience helping kids learn to go potty so I trusted her advice on this one!) Instead of pull-ups, when we first begin venturing out of the house, I’ve put the boys in extra-absorbent cotton underwear. It’s a little thicker in the crotch area than traditional kids’ underwear so it helps absorb dribbles and a small amount of urine but it still allows the child to feel wetness after an accident. They’ve been my go-to for the beginning days/weeks of potty training! Note: They will NOT keep your child completely dry and are not a diaper substitute by any means but they are helpful in preventing wet shorts/pants if a child lets out a little dribble (not a full bladder release).
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Recognize A Lot of Kids Have Their “Thing” When It Comes to Potty Training + Accidents Happen + Practicing Patience
One thing I’ve realized when it comes to potty training is that many, many kids have a hurdle of some sort to overcome when it comes to potty training. I vividly remember two of my girlfriends struggling big-time because their children refused to poop in the potty at all and always asked for a diaper. Ryder was our kid who refused to poop at school and would have an accident right when we arrived home from preschool unless we made sure he ran inside and immediately used the potty. Right now, our hurdle with Rhett seems to be the big toilet. He much, much prefers his little potty and is quite intimidated by a real toilet. We’re taking our time with this at the moment and limiting long trips out of the house because he seems nervous about sitting on anything other than his little potty. (I’m open to tips on how to make this easier for him if any of you have any advice!) Talking with many, many friends made me realize a lot of kids have something they have to work on during their potty training journey and potty training is often far from seamless. (Also, for any new readers, this blog post Q&A I did with a potty training expert when we were in the midst of potty training Chase addresses a lot of potty training hurdles!)
I’ve found myself reminding myself to give the boys (and myself) a lot of grace during potty training. Potty training can be frustrating and I think it’s okay to admit it’s not the most fun or exciting endeavor to embark on with a child. Is it annoying when you ask your child if they have to go potty only to hear them say “no” and have an accident two minutes later? Of course. Does it happen? Of course. While potty training can happen quickly for some, it often takes time and involves some accidents along the way. Keeping expectations realistic and not imagining your kid as some kind of potty prodigy can go a long way.
And now I’d loveee to hear from you guys! Please weigh in below, as I know a lot of us benefit from comments and advice from those who have been through the ringer with kid-related stuff like potty training! You guys have helped me countless times during my motherhood journey and I’m always so grateful for your insights!
Some Helpful Potty Training Finds
Questions of the Day
If you have potty trained a little one/little ones before, what has helped you the most?
Did your child have any big potty training hurdles you had to work a little harder to overcome? Did anything in particular work for you?
If you have any valuable potty training resources to share, please add them below to help those who might be on the lookout!
