We all know what it’s like to worry about work on the weekends. From TGIF to the Sunday Scaries, sometimes it can feel like we didn’t have a weekend at all, because we spent it thinking about work.
In this post, psychologist and professional counselor, Emma Becker is going to give you tons of tips to spend your weekend relaxing, unwinding, being mindful, and NOT think about work.
Emma has worked with a lot of clients who have had this issue and after some successful real life case studies, she is here to share her top tips with you.
We all know that Michael and Lauryn work hard, but they also know how to relax. Lauryn often talks about her boundaries and work and her phone, and we’ve all heard Michael say that when his Dear Media colleagues are burning the midnight oil, answering emails at 11pm, and staying late at the office, it’s not having the effect they think it might.
With that, let’s get into these tips with Emma Becker so we can all enjoy the freakin’ weekend.
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“I can’t stop thinking about my job throughout the weekend. This torture begins already on Friday evenings. I dread Saturdays and Sundays with what-ifs about work buzzing in my head… How do I prevent them from tormenting my mind and spoiling my weekends?”
Sound familiar?
Hi, I’m Emma Becker, a psychologist and professional counselor. For over 20 years, I’ve been helping people worldwide with stress and burnout, career transitions, and other life challenges.
As you might have guessed, the above problem isn’t new to me. I’ve experienced it myself (no kidding), and I’ve heard hundreds of similar concerns from my clients who used to spend every Saturday and Sunday worrying about work. You’ll run into several stories—shared with their permission—popping up in the article.
Many of them asked for a magic pill or a secret recipe to end that madness and finally have a peaceful weekend. And they did eventually find it. However, there was no magic behind it, and every “recipe” differed for each person because every personality is different.
I’ve picked the best tactics that actually helped people put a veto on job-related anxieties during their weekends. Try them out (juggle different methods and tricks) to understand which works for you.
How to Finally Stop Worrying About Work Every Weekend
Tip #1. Say hello and goodbye to your negative thoughts.
As an experimental psychologist, Dr. Kimberly Quinn aptly formulated, “Thoughts come first and feelings second; therefore, we cannot feel anxious without first thinking anxious thoughts.”
Your apprehensions about the upcoming work week are due to your negative thoughts. That is why your task is to catch that current of negativity and redirect it into positivity if you want to stop worrying about work and not let yourself drown in your distress, lying in its depths all weekend long.
It’s time to become the boss of your brain and face your negative thoughts.
Let’s take a real-life example to see how, exactly:
Jessica, a luxury watch store manager, tries to enjoy a family dinner on Saturday night. But her mind keeps drifting toward a presentation of new watches scheduled for Tuesday.
After the dinner, she does the following:
Projecting → Write it down (by the way, it’s one of the universal ways to approach depression, too). Jessica: I’m not good at it and will definitely fail it.
Questioning → Is there evidence that supports this thought? Has it ever occurred before? Jessica: No. All previous presentations were great.
Contradicting → Is there evidence that contradicts this thought? Jessica: Yes. I finished presentation skills training and have 30+ successful presentations behind my back.
Reframing → Reframe your negative thoughts into positive ones. Jessica: I have all the skills and experience needed for the presentation.
Why worry, then?
Tip #2. Occupy your brain with a hobby.
Sometimes, it helps to change your mental TV channel and switch to a hobby.
I consider hobbies natural distractors and necessities in equal measure. They require your attention and cognitive resources and divert your focus from thinking about work on the weekend. Besides, hobbies typically involve enjoyable activities that decrease stress and boost mood.
So, you might need to substitute your work-related anxiety with a hobby:
Photography
Knitting or crocheting
Hiking
Cooking
Reading books, etc.
One of my clients, Andrew, said, “My bird-watching hobby is the only thing that 100% distracts me from negative thoughts about work on weekends. And when I can’t go out into the wild, I watch YouTube live streams from white stork nests all over Europe.”
But what if you don’t have a hobby, or even if you do, it can’t fully distract you?
Let’s say you want to read a book, but an intrusive thought worms its way into your consciousness, and you can’t concentrate on reading anymore.
The next tactic is definitely going to help you out, trust me.
Tip #3. Practice mindfulness.
As I specialize in mindfulness-based therapeutic approaches, my primary goal is to guide people toward total awareness of the present moment, that is, to help them be mindful of what they do at every second.
Mindfulness is a cognitive skill, and it can be trained.
Here’s how Erika, a bookworm and an avid science-fiction reader, practiced a mindful reading exercise during one of the weekends when she couldn’t stop worrying about work:
“On a Saturday afternoon, I found a serene reading nook in the garden, prepared a warm cup of herbal tea, and opened The Peripheral. (Lesson #1: Set the scene.)
As I expected, my thoughts began to wander to my work again. I took several deep, slow breaths to anchor myself in the moment. (Lesson #2: Try breathing exercises.)
I became aware of how the book felt in my hands, the sound of turning pages, and the tea’s aroma. (Lesson #3: Engage your senses.)
Then, I closed my eyes and tried to imagine the scene. While reading, I also took notes of sci-fi terms I met throughout the book.” (Lesson #4: Concentrate on each moment and reflect mindfully.)
Tip #4. Try something out of the ordinary.
Tapping into something extraordinary (you have never tried before) during the weekends can be an excellent way to create a diversion and give your mind a break from repetitive thoughts about work. Besides, your brain will be like: Well, that’s new. I like it!
In fact, newness is a sort of ecstasy (a mini-orgasm, if you prefer) for the human brain.
If you haven’t tried it yet, how about:
Diving with sharks
Visiting a sex party (oh, boy)
Exploring a new hobby (metalworking, glassblowing, or urban beekeeping)
Attending an improv comedy night
Joining a medieval sword-fighting club
Going on a nature adventure (caving or rock climbing)
Or taking an online Latin class and reading your favorite ancient poetry, say The Aeneid by Virgil or Metamorphoses by Ovid, in original Latin?
The last one was my own try-something-new experience.
(If you think a psychologist or psychotherapist doesn’t have any anxieties or fears, that’s not how it is. And if some psychologists or psychotherapists try to reassure you they don’t fear anything—watch out, that would be a lie and a sign of unprofessionalism, to say the least.)
Tip #5. Play stress-relieving games.
I know what you might be thinking: Games?! I’m an adult. Adults don’t play games.
Actually, games have no age restrictions, and everyone—from the youngest to the oldest—may enjoy gameplay. Moreover, gamified activities provide immersive experiences. Once they fully immerse you, they help you escape from flooding thoughts about your job. Not to mention that multiplayer games engage you in social interactions with friends or family. They may serve as a refreshing change from work.
Then, you can try stress-relieving games specifically. Some of those are:
Tetris
Spider Solitaire
Outdoor lawn games (badminton or cornhole)
In fact, 68% of Americans play video games to relax, and 83% of American parents indulge in those with their kids for better family bonding, whether on weekends or weekdays.
What about you?
Tip #6. Clearly separate work setting from weekend setting.
Especially if you work from home (WFH).
Below is a story shared by the WFH freelance writer who actually used the same kitchen table for work, breakfast, lunch, dinner, sex… (You got it, right? She used it literally for everything.)
“When I worked from home as a freelancer, I used the same space (table and chair) for writing and my personal life. I just switched the sides of the table for eating. And, often, I ate in front of my laptop at weekends, too, peeking into my articles and worrying even more.
Only after creating a designated workspace at home and clearly separating work from non-work time did I feel relieved from my thoughts and worries about work every single weekend.”
If you likewise face this challenge when working distantly, try creating your own office nook. Make the space somewhere that’s clean, organized and away separated as much as possible from the other areas of your home.
As an entrepreneur, Grant Aldrich, Founder of Preppy, says it’s a bit tougher when you run a business 24/7. Yet, he believes entrepreneurs can stop thinking about work on the weekend. His rule is as follows:
”Set a work cut-off time and dedicate the weekend to yourself and your family. My rule today is: No chats, meetings, or interviews on weekends.”
Tip #7. And for crying out loud—leave your mailbox and work chat alone!
Let me guess.
You probably keep checking your inbox and workplace chat every second on Saturday. And then double-check it on Sunday, right?
The trace of thoughts, mounting and invading your cognitive fortress, may go like this:
What if there’s an important email from the manager or a message related to the project from my colleague? What if it’s urgent? What if I miss it, and then…
And then, thousands of other what-ifs spring to your mind and bubble up there.
Naturally, this outburst of thoughts only reinforces your anxiety about work.
Remember: Your weekends are your official days off. They are not billable, and you’re not obliged to respond to emails and messages during this time. By ditching this habit, you’ll maintain a healthy work-life balance and establish tangible boundaries between work and personal time.
So, log out from your workplace communication tools, set your mind free from obsessive thoughts about work, and don’t let your weekends get ruined, ever again.
Going to practice mindfulness. Are you joining me?
If you still have questions or concerns, contact me via emmabecker.info for a friendly chat or just drop “hi” in my mailbox: [email protected]. I’m not a social media person, so you can contact me there.
Happy and stress-less weekend to you and yours!
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We hope you found this post as helpful as we did. Some of these tips are maybe easier said than done, but as Emma says, you can practice all these skills to help you forget about work.
Remember, you deserve a break to recuperate for the week ahead. So take it! It doesn’t have to be a big deal either. Tell your family you’re taking an hour to yourself, lock yourself in the bathroom for a eucalyptus shower and some full body wellness (our Body Kit can help with that.)
x, The Skinny Confidential team.
+ 10 self-care habits to upgrade your life.
++ Meditation tips for beginners.
WEEKEND RELAXATION:
