To explain what orgasms feel like with a vulva, sex educator and founder of Everyone Deserves Sex Ed Anne Hodder-Shipp, ACS, often uses the analogy of riding a rollercoaster. “You’re like kind of building up to that high point and that feeling in your body that almost feels like your stomach is like somehow lifted a little bit, just as you go over that edge, before you start like soaring down,” she says.
Hodder-Shipps total-body description tracks with what we know about what orgasms feel like with a vulva scientifically, that they involve lots of different organs and systems. Orgasm for someone with a vulva start in the clitoris and include both its exterior and interior parts, says double-board-certified gynecologist Monica Grover, DO, medical director at VSPOT medi spa. “It’s based on a clitoral response, which comprises what you see, as well as the G-area, [which you don’t].”
“No two orgasms are alike, even if you are using the same tool or touching the same part of your body.”—Ann Hodder-Shipp, sex educator
So how can someone with a vulva tell if they’ve had an orgasm? Not everyone will “ just know,” according to Hodder-Shipp, because even if a lot of the same physical sensations are happening, sexual climaxes feel different for everyone.“No two orgasms are alike, even if you are using the same tool or touching the same part of your body,” she says.
Here is what to expect when you orgasm if you have a vulva, according to sex educators and doctors
Neurological response
The brain plays a major role in orgasms. Think of it as the general telling the other bits what to do: As sexual arousal happens, often through touch in erogenous zones, but also through other senses, the brain sends various neurotransmitters to parts of the body that signal physiological responses—think faster breath, cheeks flushing, skin feeling sensitive, and muscle contractions.
“Nerves pick up the touch feeling in whatever place in the body, and then send signals through the spinal nerves, up to the thalamus in the brain and onto that sensory cortex,” sex therapist and cognitive scientist Nan Wise, PhD, author of Good Sex Matters, previously told Well+Good.
Dr. Grover says this is why foreplay is important; it’s during this build-up to orgasm that the brain is sending messages to the rest of the body. “It takes a little bit longer for women to have the libido send the signal to the brain to activate the neurotransmitters that signal to get the blood flow going, and then for the nerves to release those neurotransmitters,” she says.
Lubrication and potentially ejaculation
As arousal continues, Dr. Grover says the muscles in the pelvic floor relax more and the vaginal canal becomes wetter and more responsive in case there is penetration. But orgasm with a vulva doesn’t always involve ejaculation and fluid release. According to Hodder-Shipp, while “the vulva is absolutely capable of expelling, it’s not something that can really be equated with penis ejaculation because it’s not always along with an orgasm.”
Pelvic contractions
According to Hodder-Shipp, for many, or even most, people with a vulva, the orgasm process is marked by involuntary rhythmic pelvic contractions. And while they won’t always feel the same from person to person, she says generally, the sensation is as if the vulva is opening and closing, and it becomes more pronounced before a climax. “It’s a rhythmic squeeze and release that we’re not actually doing ourselves, so the involuntariness is a sign to look out for ” she says.
Clitoral swelling and climax
Finally, as blood flow increases to the clitoris (which contains 8,000 nerves), the interior parts swell. This is what ultimately results in what many experience an orgasm to be: a buildup of pressure or intense release, says Hodder Shipp. This extra blood flow is also what’t behind that sex flush, as well as why your skin may feel more sensitive to the touch.
What orgasms feel like with a vulva has historically been shrouded in mystery, largely because of incomplete sex education and squeamishness about discussing sexual pleasure—and much of the discussion of sexual pleasure centering on people with penises—plus, the clitoris also hasn’t been researched much. So hopefully this sheds a little more light on the topic.
