Editor’s Note: This article was written (mostly) by ChatGPT. Humans helped.
Skiing is not just a sport, it’s a lifestyle. If you want to be a rad skier, you need to do more than just hit the slopes. You need to adopt a certain attitude, a certain swagger, a certain je ne sais quoi that will make you stand out from the crowd.
Most important: You gotta have fun. Skiing is supposed to be enjoyable, so don’t take it too seriously. Just relax, let loose, and shred the gnar.
But you also need to be confident. Rad skiers don’t hesitate. They ski fast, they ski hard, and they always look cool doing it. So channel your inner badass and pretend you’re in a TGR flick, and then send it!
Here are some tips on how to be a rad skier, or at least pretend to be one.
Tip #1: Crush the Après Scene
Some people might think that après-ski is just an excuse to drink and act silly. But they are (mostly) wrong. As a sacred rite, après-ski is an essential part of the ski culture. It’s a great opportunity to make new friends, flex your flamboyant side, and maybe even find love. You never know who you might bump into!
If you’re new to après, Pit Viper can help. Sure, the brand makes shred-certified eyewear and goggles, but they also make tons of other rad gear for leveling up your après credentials.
But, be warned: après-ski can be addictive. Once you start, you might not want to stop. You might find yourself spending more time at the bar than on the slopes. You might end up dancing until dawn and sleeping until noon. You might even forget why you came to the mountains in the first place. But hey, that’s the beauty of après-ski. It’s unpredictable, spontaneous, and fun. Just like life.
Tip #2: Dress the Part
To get après-shreddy, you need to get yourself some rad ski gear. It should be expensive, flashy, and extremely high-performance. Yes, the gear will cost a lot, so you should do what you can to get sponsored by some big-name brand.
Grab some flashy eyewear, especially if it’s bluebird — like Pit Viper’s Synthesizer Sunglasses — and watch other shredders take note. With the Synthesizers, you might as well be the mayor of Shredville.
You want to look like you just stepped out of a magazine ad, even if you can barely afford to pay for your lift ticket. Bonus points for neon colors, retro prints, or animal patterns.
Tip #3: Talk the Part
You wouldn’t go to Mexico without learning a few key phrases in Spanish: hola, una cerveza por favor, etc. Take this same approach for skiing and make sure you are proficient in the language of the mountains.
You can’t be a rad skier if you don’t know how to communicate with your fellow shredders. You need to spice up your vocabulary with some slang terms, such as gnarly, sick, send, sendy, rad, stoked, epic, and so on. You also need to know some technical terms, such as carving, corn, crud, avy pit, powder, terrain park, and so on.
Don’t worry if you don’t know what they mean, just use them randomly and hope for the best. For example, you can say something like, “Dude, you just got super sendy shredding that corn. I’m so stoked for you!”
Tip #4: Act the Part
Act rad. This means you need to be confident, adventurous, and a little bit reckless. You need to ski fast, jump high, and take risks. You need to show off your skills. You need to challenge yourself and others, even if you’re not ready for it. You need to act like you own the mountain, even if you’re just a guest. And most importantly, you need to have fun, or at least look like you’re having fun.
Remember, skiing is all about having a good time, You need to be nonchalant, but not too nonchalant. The radder you are, the less you care, but you need to care a little … even if you do care (which you probably do), definitely don’t let anyone know.
Tip #5: Fake It ‘Til You Make It
Don’t have the skills, the style, or the attitude to be a rad skier? Don’t want to admit it? So what do you do? Flex and pretend your way to radness.
Here Are Some Strategies
- Hire a ski instructor, but pretend he’s your friend. That way, you can get some professional tips and tricks, without looking like a noob who needs lessons.
- Buy some fake ski passes, stickers, or badges, and stick them on your gear. That way, you can pretend you’ve been to some exotic ski resorts, or competed in some prestigious ski events, without actually going there or doing anything.
- Hang out with some rad skiers, and pretend you’re one of them. That way, you can get some social proof, credibility, and respect, without actually earning it.
- Get yourself a cast, sling, or brace. If you’re injured and still hanging out around the slopes, people will assume you rip and that you got your injury doing rad things. Plus, you have an excuse for why you missed the pow day or didn’t charge the quadruple black diamond.
Tip #6: Sandbag Your Own Style
Skiers sandbag their own style choices all the time, it’s practically high art. To be truly rad, you must appear not to be rad. It’s called reverse-radness. (Head exploding.)
See Tip #1: Wear ridiculous gear that’ll project self-confidence while camouflaging a deep insecurity and desire to fit in. Pit Viper is happy to fill the void with its semi-fashionable ski gear and apparel. And 70% of the time, Pit Viper shreds the gnar every time.
Tip #7: Stop Caring
All right, enough pretending. You know what? It doesn’t matter if you’re a rad skier or not. It doesn’t matter if you have the best gear, the coolest lingo, or the most amazing skills. It doesn’t matter if you impress anyone, or if anyone likes you. What matters is that you enjoy skiing.
Skiing is a wonderful sport, a great hobby, and a fun activity. It’s a way to connect with nature, with yourself, and with others. It’s a way to challenge yourself, to express yourself, and to have fun. So forget about being a rad skier, and just be yourself. Be a happy skier. Be a grateful skier. Be a skier who loves skiing. That’s the raddest thing you can do.
The End
So, there you have it, some tips on how to be a rad skier. Follow these steps, and you’ll be sure to turn some heads and make some friends on the slopes. Or maybe not, but hey, at least you’ll have a laugh. Happy skiing!
This post was sponsored by Pit Viper. To see the brand’s Winter Collection, go to PitViper.com.
